I teach high school, I am not in high school..so why do I feel like whenever I take the plunge to do grown up dating I suddenly find myself transported back to that time? Isn’t it supposed to be easier as an adult? Or we do we all just want a high school re-do? It seems that there are even more taboo’s as an “adult” dating. You would think we would all have moved past the minute by minute reporting in, the phone checks, and the drive by’s. But actually, we have not. The green eyed monster rears its ugly head all the time. When you are a teenager, you feel that you have to explain why that other boy sent you a text, or why you broke a date, and even in some cases; get a best friend to intercede. So don’t you think getting past puberty should get us past pubescent behavior? The answer is no. It gets worse. What started out as a fun relationship gets bogged down in someone checking up on you, getting mad if you don’t account for every moment or every missed phone call. Opening up your phone to Passive/Aggressive comments with the universal qualifier…”just joking: But they aren’t joking. They are serious. And you find yourself wondering, is this what adult dating is all about? Things like…not being able to be yourself, have a life, or even being able to go to the gym without backhand comments…I don’t think this is what I thought it would be. I had a fantasy maybe I could be accepted for me; wild child tendencies, mouth like a trucker, and passionately opinionated. Alas, it is not to be. The phrase I love everything about you is the bait and switch tactic. Because soon enough they will want you to change and be something else. Maybe clingy, needy, jealous, or some other adjective that you don’t want to be. You have to decide what it is you want. The reality is that as an adult, it is hard date like a teenager because you aren’t. You have developed a life and career and hopefully learned things about yourself. And if doesn’t work out…it’s ok. It isn’t failure because you tried. The failure is in not trying at all. Which brings me back to the question…why is post puberty dating so hard? I am still looking for the answer. But as much as “adult” dating has not been a success always for me, I have beautiful friends and family that have gotten it right which gives me hope that the answer may not be that complicated after all.